My love life is like a rollercoaster. I am falling in love everyday, to stop feeling it the next day. I am falling in love with every one night stand just to wake up in the morning and praying to God: Oh please, wake up and go home, I wanna be alone. Do I believe in love? I do. I hope it will hit me like a tube one day and slice me in the pieces. Because for me the real love hurts. It hurts so much that you wanna keep hurting till the end of your life. I loved once, maybe twice. But I do remember the feeling when I loved. I wanted to rip off my skin to be closer to my beloved, I wanted to breathe the air they were breathing out and after break ups I was becoming Toni Braxton singing "I hate love" praying at the same moment to find a new one as soon as possible. Because I am a love desperate.
Sit down, play your favourite music album and read the interview with Zuzanna Buchwald, one of my favourite female model and Chris Ladewig, a guy to die for. We're talking about love, committment and hearbreaks. And we all wish to end up like Anja Rubik and Sasha Knezevic - with a fairytale wedding and living happily ever after.
IDOLL: What is love?
Chris Ladewig: Love is life-changing, it's the connecting of our heart and souls to a point where an existence without your loved one is unbearable. Love is the want, the desire to be with another person, to share your life, your dreams, your passions, your time with that person. Love is seeing that person in a way no other does. When that person becomes more beautiful with each passing moment, seeing their inner beauty radiate outwardly. being comfortable, being yourself around a person. Having a passion that never dies. Love is when general obligations become simple pleasures. The core of love is universal. It can't really be explained. It's a feeling, that only you know... Love is unmistakeable.
Zuzanna Buchwald: Respect, intimacy, trust, attraction... I'm in the process of finding out more. My grandfather always says : "Love is an itch of the heart that you can not scratch"- cheesy but true.
IDOLL: What's the difference between love and romance?
Chris: Are they different? Isn't most love preceeded by some sort of romance?
Zuzanna: Romance is temporary, love is forever.
Chris: If you are talking about a fling. thats different. Flings generally have an expiry date. Fun without the serious commitment, generally not involving love. Where love is limitless... no time frame for love... it's seeing yourself with a person for the forseeable future... A going concern.
Zuzanna: Romance is a fleeing moment while love is much more complex. Romance for me is only with a guy, while love is something I give to family members, good friends, my dog...
IDOLL: Do you think men can love and it will be a pure love or they are just into romances? You know what they say, men only care about sex...
Zuzanna: I like to believe that there are men mature enough for true love. In my opinion they have to get fed up with romances before they long for true, unconditional love.
IDOLL: That's kinda Carrie Bradshaw's way of thinking but in the end she found her true love.
Chris: Of course men can love (laughs)! Depends what you are looking for. Many times these romances manifest into real love...
IDOLL: Will you agree that men think with dick? But then what about women? (laughs)
Zuzanna: I would, but women often think through a prism of their sexuality as well. I know many women more sex-oriented than their partners.
Chris: Everyone is different. Sure you get people whose lives are led by a full-on frontal crotch attack, a phallic compass if you may (laughs) considering the world we live in, with everything being driven by sex (sex sells, etc).. It would seem the masses are led by it. But remember, sex is just one piece of a very large pie. So I think it's a media induced phenomenom. But i believe things are changing though, the stereotypical roles are being reversed to some extent, where men were once leading with their "second heads", it seems women are taking on more of this role, being lead purely by their physical desires.
IDOLL: What is more important? The look or the brain? I have to say that the look is the most important for me but I am a love idiot and always falling for a pretty face - regretting it later.
Zuzanna: I wanted and found both.
IDOLL: Lucky you!
Zuzanna: Looks-if you are looking for a casual relationship. A good combination of looks and intelligence-if you want partnership. I get bored with pretty boys than have nothing to say.
Chris: If a girl can rock a blue steel, I'm sold (laughs). I'm joking. I once had an argument with a girl, who was very open about her dating with men purely for their money. She didn't care how they looked like or the type of person they were. If they bought her shit, she was happy. I made a suggestion of her shallowness. Then she critisized me for my shallowness for wanting certain things in a girl: intelligence, wit, humour, beauty, playfulness, maturity, a good heart...
IDOLL: Oh, so you mean she was a “gift-sweetheart”. Maybe she should start dating a Santa Clause?
Chris: We all want different things. and we all pursue those things which make us each as individuals happy. But personally, i need the complete package... and then some.
IDOLL: Are you in a relationship at the moment?
Chris: No, I'm not.
Zuzanna: Yes, for 3 years now.
IDOLL: So first you, lucky girl. Who's the guy?
Zuzanna: My boyfriend is a hot, smart and amazing Brazilian man. We met each other in a club in New York. I was a little drunk and he was very caring from the beginning. We started talking about art, Brazilian berry acai, universities and nightlife in New York. Soon after that we were inseparable.
IDOLL: And what about you Chris? Why are you single?
Chris: I'm single because my young girl who I loved recently decided her freedom was more important than our relationship. No hard feelings. What we had was truly amazing. We've made some awesome memories and we got to experience each other. Have to be grateful for that. Besides, we all have our paths to lead. My path is about changing lives.
IDOLL: People say it's hard to be in a relationship when you're a model. Travels all around the world, beautiful people around - it all makes you wanna cheat on your beloved!
Chris: Well there is no doubt that this industry is riddled with promiscuity and people cheating on bfs/gfs. But then again, there is just as much infidelity in the rest of the world. It depends on entirely on the person.
Zuzanna: I used to be more tempted with beautiful boys during my work trips.
Chris: I've never cheated on a girlfriend and never will. It's just not who i am.
IDOLL: So you're just like me. But then again – everyone were cheating on me!
Chris: Considering the travelling lifestyle of a model, it may be easier... You may be away from your partner, your family, friends, then you meet someone, you connect in this forced intimacy situation and then it happens. So if loyalty isn't high on your priority list, being single would be better.
Zuzanna: You don't have to travel anywhere if you want to cheat. You can do it with a neighbor while your girlfriend/boyfriend is asleep. It doesn't have to be a modeling trip. In New York where I live I am surrounded with beautiful and successful people but if you love someone,you don't cheat. Period.
Chris: Like I said, it depends who you are, what you want. When I love someone I don't really want any other. Like Rihanna says, "make them feel like the only girl in the world". So for me it iseasy. It is not so much being a model, rather the distance which makes it hard.
IDOLL: I can bet many people tried to get your attention or flirt with you. The best and the worst flirt situations ever?
Chris: (Laughs) I'm not so sure about that.. I think girls get a lot more action on that front than guys do. It's just the way it is. There have been some interesting situations. Nothing really comes to mind regarding a worse situation. I actually find the attention levels and flirting increase when people realise I'm a photographer. It's all just a bit of harmless fun at the end of the day.
Zuzanna: There was a lot of fun flirt situations. One of the most memorable ones was getting stuck at the airport in Palm Springs with an extremely attractive male model. Our flight to New York was delayed and we decided to wait in a bar. I was underaged back then and he got me completely drunk. I was also in a relationship at the time, but a year later, when I was single, we met again and hooked up. The least pleasant situation was with a quite famous actor. We met at a theatre and I was flattered when he asked me out, but he was so self-centered and weird that it ended up being the worse date ever.
IDOLL: Okay, you both said you're not into cheating so let me ask you something. Would you consider a 3-some if your partner would propose it? Or would you rather pick 1 on 1 option?
Chris: No idea! It would be very very circumstantial. Have to cross that bridge when I get there.
Zuzanna: Yes, I would consider.
IDOLL: You've changed since I met you at the beginning of your career (laughs). Good girl went bad?
Zuzanna: I'm rather open and adventurous.
IDOLL: Are u sexually active when you're in a long-term-relationship?
Chris: I'm saving myself for when I'm married. (Laughs) Just kiddin.
Zuzanna: Active and monogamous.
IDOLL: What is the key to a successful relationship?
Zuzanna: I don't know if there is one. Every relationship is different and its happiness is based on the needs of the couple. In my case: common interests, the ability of having fun together, mutual understanding (despite the cultural differences), mutual (I hope) attraction, support that we give each other are surely some of the things that keep us together.
Chris: Wanting the same things. Having similar perspectives on life and what you want from it. Wanting to be with each other. That "want" is important.
IDOLL: Yeah but it doesn' work sometimes.
Chris: Passion! Romance, feeling the love. The desire to be with your loved one. And communication is key! each giving 100%. There must be balance in the relationship and complete trust and honesty. Your partner needs to be your best friend.
IDOLL: If you could pick - a good one night stands everyday or a long-term-partner, what would you chose?
Zuzanna: Long term relationship. Healthier. More interesting and much more of a challenge.
Chris: I'm quite old school. I fully believe in having a certain exclusivity, and I am a hopeless romantic, so long term life partner for sure!! Freedom is happiness, but happiness is best shared so share your freedom with someone you love. Pure true love is like the cherry on the cake of life. Everything is just that little bit better. Life is just more meaningful.
IDOLL: The worst break up ever?
Chris: Maybe this last one, because I loved the girl with all my heart, thought she was "the one". And for that all be suddenly taken away and having no control over it. it hurt. It wasn't a nasty breakup, there was no reason for it to be, we just wanted different things. Now, life continues. You can't control situations but you can control how you think about them.
Zuzanna: Every break up is hard, I really can't pick one. I am very emotional and I get attached to people quickly, so I suffer almost every time.
Chris: Happiness is a choice! Sometimes you just gotta return the book to the library and take out another one. Plenty of interesting books out there to read.
IDOLL: Yeah, sea is full of fish and wood is full of trees. So that will be the last question. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Zuzanna: As a big romantic I would like to believe in one. I know that sometimes you just know that someone is a great person by looking at them, but love, in that case, is too big of a word.
Chris: No, I don't believe in love at first sight. But I believe in chemistry and that "connection"- the spark which makes a person stand out to the rest, which ultimately could lead to love.
Text: Bartek Fetysz Rytkowski
Photos: models's archives
